Friday, May 6, 2011

the week in quotes

Written on the top of a quiz:
"Dear Jesus: Please help me on this test that I didn't study long enough for. Love, Jon"

As I passed a student on his cell phone in the hall:
[He covers the mouthpiece of the phone with one hand] "It's my booking agent. Sales of my memoirs are going through the roof!"

Joe: "Hey, is that candy in your bag?"
Kristi: "No, it's carrots and celery."
Joe: "Oh, GROSS! Wow, I really need to get my eyes checked."

On Take-Your-Child-to-Work Day:
"Can students bring their children?"

Student I don't know: "Is Mark Twain still alive?"
Teacher: "No."
Other student: "Last year, I asked if Shakespeare was still alive, and I got a lot of crap for that."

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